Satu hari setelah kepergian nenek; saya tidak begitu larut dalam suasana sedih karena ada banyak orang di rumah. Pada tujuh hari berturut-turut ini diadakan doa arwah atau semacam ibadat kecil yang dihadiri oleh umat lingkungan gereja. Selain doa arwah, ada pula selamatan dengan adat jawa yang dihadiri oleh para tetangga dekat. Jadi suasana di rumah hari-hari ini sangat ramai. Tetangga-tetangga (khususnya ibu-ibu) membantu memasak dan membantu segala pelaksanaan dua acara sembahyangan itu tadi. Orang orang silih berganti datang untuk turut menyampaikan dukacitanya. Ada banyak sekali tamu dan saya sesekali ikut menyalami mereka. Saya merasa aman sejauh ini. Sanak saudara masih berkumpul. Keluarga pakpoh yang dari Batu, keluarga paklik dari Tawangsari Blitar, dan semua anggota keluarga besar tinggal di rumah untuk beberapa waktu (mungkin selama seminggu penuh ini). Kami semua menyebar di setiap sudut rumah pada waktu malam (semacam berjaga). Ada yang tidur di ruang tamu, di kamar kakek, dan bahkan di ruang belakang rumah.
Kehadiran mereka semua membuat perasaan aman. Bahkan di moment ini bapak dan ibu saya bisa berkumpul. Semuanya hadir menghangatkan suasana di tengah dukacita ini. Saya senang, namun sesekali juga khawatir apabila kami semua meninggalkan rumah ini dan menjalani hidup sendiri-sendiri seperti biasanya, perasaan kehilangan dan duka itu kembali datang dan membuat saya bersusah hati dan terpuruk. Namun ini hanya kekhawatiran. Mungkin nanti jika tiba waktunya, apa yang saya takutkan tidak terjadi.
Begitulah, teman! Hari-hari ini mungkin saya belum bisa kembali ke Malang untuk menjalani rutinitas harian. Namun saya juga rindu bertemu dengan kawan-kawan saya disana.
Jumat, 27 Maret 2015
I Think God Has Told Me
It’s like God has told me that the primary purpose of this life is to go back home; to meet Him in His glorious kingdom of eternity.
I am not really sure about what I am talking but I think that that is how we are supposed to live this life. I think it is God who wants us to live well and to be a fine harvest to fill the kingdom with goodnessess.
I am not really sure about what I am talking but I think that that is how we are supposed to live this life. I think it is God who wants us to live well and to be a fine harvest to fill the kingdom with goodnessess.
I just Can't Believe
It has been four weeks. I and all of my kin
have been busy taking care of our sick mother, my grandmother exactly.
She’s suffering a malignant tumour. I do not know what it is usually
called; it may be a cardiac tumour, a mass of cells growing in or on a
part of my grandma’s heart.
It is very devastating. Doctors have said for several times; any medical help can do nothing about it. Neither chemotherapy nor surgery can help my grandma, so we just have the last hope.
We try to lay the burden down and trust in Him and patiently take care of our mother.
Days have been hard for me and others. Beside believing in the power of God and all kind of miracles, we are often afraid, especially when our beloved mother coughing and vomitting.
It is so depressing. Our beloved parent is dying and nothing we can help but praying for her.
Day by day; our mother were fine before she died this morning.
I was sleeping and dreaming of an unpleasant stepdaughter of my aunt came in our house and made the situation unpleasant. Before a long unhappy moment happened in my dream, my phone rang and I woke up. It was at 01:49 a.m. I picked the phone, it was my aunt. She told me, not in a clear voice, that grandma had just passed away. I could not believe it. “Just like that?” I asked my self. I could’t say much about that moment. I was so depressed and sad.
I just cried and mourned in that silent moment. Meanwhile in the phone, there were several people crying;
Then the harder part came for me. Aunt told me I must tell my mother. I called her. She picked it up. I told her what happened and I. Sorry, I can’t explain this moment. I was miserably sad. The way I told the news to my mother and her reaction only made me saddened. It has haunted me until now, at this very moment.
I am in a big grief, friend!
Now I pulled myself from the crowd of people in the house.
I sort of try to accept what has happened and let God take her back home. It is a simple thing, actually but I just can’t believe it happens today. I think I just need some time.
There are a lot of people in the house. Neighbors, family, and people from the church came to see our mother for the last time.
There was a kind of rite and a praying. Some requiems have just been sang. Some prayers have just been finished. I just wait in grief what would be next.
Now they are singing “Our Father”.
I remember the face of my grandma in the coffin. She looked so beautiful and kind. She even looked like smiling like the way a pretty woman smile because of being grateful to God.
Now the song is finished. It is finished, maybe. It is about time. My grandma’s body will be sent to the cemetery.
I would like to say goodbye to her.
Thank you, friend for seeing this sharing. God bless you!
It is very devastating. Doctors have said for several times; any medical help can do nothing about it. Neither chemotherapy nor surgery can help my grandma, so we just have the last hope.
We try to lay the burden down and trust in Him and patiently take care of our mother.
Days have been hard for me and others. Beside believing in the power of God and all kind of miracles, we are often afraid, especially when our beloved mother coughing and vomitting.
It is so depressing. Our beloved parent is dying and nothing we can help but praying for her.
Day by day; our mother were fine before she died this morning.
I was sleeping and dreaming of an unpleasant stepdaughter of my aunt came in our house and made the situation unpleasant. Before a long unhappy moment happened in my dream, my phone rang and I woke up. It was at 01:49 a.m. I picked the phone, it was my aunt. She told me, not in a clear voice, that grandma had just passed away. I could not believe it. “Just like that?” I asked my self. I could’t say much about that moment. I was so depressed and sad.
I just cried and mourned in that silent moment. Meanwhile in the phone, there were several people crying;
Then the harder part came for me. Aunt told me I must tell my mother. I called her. She picked it up. I told her what happened and I. Sorry, I can’t explain this moment. I was miserably sad. The way I told the news to my mother and her reaction only made me saddened. It has haunted me until now, at this very moment.
I am in a big grief, friend!
Now I pulled myself from the crowd of people in the house.
I sort of try to accept what has happened and let God take her back home. It is a simple thing, actually but I just can’t believe it happens today. I think I just need some time.
There are a lot of people in the house. Neighbors, family, and people from the church came to see our mother for the last time.
There was a kind of rite and a praying. Some requiems have just been sang. Some prayers have just been finished. I just wait in grief what would be next.
Now they are singing “Our Father”.
I remember the face of my grandma in the coffin. She looked so beautiful and kind. She even looked like smiling like the way a pretty woman smile because of being grateful to God.
Now the song is finished. It is finished, maybe. It is about time. My grandma’s body will be sent to the cemetery.
I would like to say goodbye to her.
Thank you, friend for seeing this sharing. God bless you!
Minggu, 08 Maret 2015
Keluarga Kucing
Di rumah sakit khususnya di area pasien penyakit dalam, terdapat keluarga kucing yang tinggal di atap. Ada enam kucing, satu induk dan lima anak. Mereka hidup bergantung pada sisa sisa makanan pasien. Setiap hari si induk bisa mendapatkan beberapa potong daging ayam untuk diberikan kepada anak anaknya, sehingga mereka semua tumbuh dengan baik dan kelihatan gemuk dan lucu. Orang orang senang melihat tingkah laku keluarga itu, sama seperti saya. Hampir semua orang menikmati memandang kumpulan binatang binatang kecil yang menggemaskan itu. Namun, ternyata apabila didekati, mereka ganas dan liar.
Kehidupan mereka baik baik saja sebelum kejadian kemarin. Salah satu anak kucing mencoba ikut induknya, melompat dari atap ke pohon lalu ke tanah dan setelah itu tidak bisa kembali ke atas.Si induk tidak bisa menolong karena anak kucing itu sudah besar dan berat. Oran orang juga tidak bisa; setiapkali hendak ditangkap untuk dikembalikan ke atap, ia lari. Saya sudah mencoba beberapa kali namun tidak bisa. Jadi si anak kucing tetap di bawah pohon di taman; siang, malam hingga pagi. Ia mengeong-eong seharian dan semalaman. Saya merasa kasihan pada kucing itu , se
perti halnya orang orang; namun sulit sekali menangkapnya. Hingga pada akhirnya, setelah semua upaya mengejar gagal, muncul satu kesempatan. Pagi ini, si kucing kelihatan tidur di antara tetumbuhan. Saya mengendap endap lalu menangkapnya. Si kucing memberontak dan mengeluarkan suara buasnya dan mencakar setiap sisi tangan saya yang bisa ia jangkau. Ia juga menggigit jempol kiri saya sehingga berdarah. Saya segera melepaskannya ke atap. Masalah beres. Orang orang bisa tidur nyenyak lagi dan si kucing kembali kepada keluarganya.
Kehidupan mereka baik baik saja sebelum kejadian kemarin. Salah satu anak kucing mencoba ikut induknya, melompat dari atap ke pohon lalu ke tanah dan setelah itu tidak bisa kembali ke atas.Si induk tidak bisa menolong karena anak kucing itu sudah besar dan berat. Oran orang juga tidak bisa; setiapkali hendak ditangkap untuk dikembalikan ke atap, ia lari. Saya sudah mencoba beberapa kali namun tidak bisa. Jadi si anak kucing tetap di bawah pohon di taman; siang, malam hingga pagi. Ia mengeong-eong seharian dan semalaman. Saya merasa kasihan pada kucing itu , se
perti halnya orang orang; namun sulit sekali menangkapnya. Hingga pada akhirnya, setelah semua upaya mengejar gagal, muncul satu kesempatan. Pagi ini, si kucing kelihatan tidur di antara tetumbuhan. Saya mengendap endap lalu menangkapnya. Si kucing memberontak dan mengeluarkan suara buasnya dan mencakar setiap sisi tangan saya yang bisa ia jangkau. Ia juga menggigit jempol kiri saya sehingga berdarah. Saya segera melepaskannya ke atap. Masalah beres. Orang orang bisa tidur nyenyak lagi dan si kucing kembali kepada keluarganya.
Beberapa orang terlihat senang; beberapa heran bagaimana saya menangkapnya.
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